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A Democrat, Republican, an Independent, Libertarian and a Hippie walk into a bar.

Oh, and  Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, too


By Brock Cravy

So, a Democrat, Republican, an Independent, Hippie, and a Libertarian walk into this epic Gen Z bar. The Democrat's like, "Can I get a Sustainable Spritzer?" The Republican's all, "I'll have a Freedom Fizz, no questions asked." The Independent's chill, "Something that stands the test of time, please." The Hippie's all about a "Peaceful Pineapple Smoothie, man." The Libertarian gives a nod, "A Rebel Refreshment with a dash of Skepticism." Gen Z behind the bar is like, "Sure thing, fam, let's vibe."

As the night unfolds, the Democrat, Republican, and Independent dive deep into political chatter. Opinions are flying around like snaps on Snapchat. The Hippie's like, "Can't we just, like, heal the world with hugs?" The Libertarian's like, "Or maybe we can debate whether online privacy is a myth." Meanwhile, Gen Z's multitasking, serving drinks and dropping fire memes.

Then, the Hippie starts talking climate change, and the Republican jokes, "I recycle – old campaign posters make for groovy wall art, man." The Independent snorts, then suggests, "Let's volunteer at the local thrift store." The Democrat smirks, "As long as it's a blue thrift store." Gen Z behind the bar raises an eyebrow, "Yo, check your privilege."

Suddenly, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene walks in, and the bar's energy does the Macarena. The Democrat's blood pressure goes up, the Republican gives a nod like, "I'm tracking," and the Independent just rolls their eyes. The Hippie's like, "She probably thinks peace signs are government tracking devices." Gen Z's like, "Time for some epic debate, I guess."

Amid the chatter, Gen X, the manager, steps in, "Alright, party people, let's keep it Dave Mathews up in here, up in here. We're here for a chill time, not an episode of 'Political Survivor'." The Democrat, Republican, and Independent slow their roll.  

Over on the moody Libertarian stool, away from the crowd, it's all contemplative. Gen Z bartender shoots a nod, "You good, fam?" The Libertarian smirks, "Just wondering if taxes are a simulation glitch."

The Independent suggests a dance-off, and the joint erupts with laughter and retro moves. Gen Z bartender's like, "If we can dance like it's TikTok, maybe world issues deserve a shuffle too." Just as the night's rhythm finds its beat, a new face walks in – a Baby Boomer with an air of authority and the deed to the bar.

The Democrat grimaces as the Republican becomes aroused. The Independent shares a knowing glance with Gen X.  "Ready Player One.", sighs the manager.

The Boomer marches straight to the bar, demanding to speak to the manager. Gen X steps forward, unruffled, "What can I do for you, my friend?" The Baby Boomer leans in, "I've got a complaint – the music's too loud, the drinks are too fancy, and nobody's talking about Hunter Biden's laptop!" The Democrat's face tightens, frustration clear in their eyes. They abruptly leave the bar, causing a momentary hush. Except for the Congresswoman, who is drunk, laughing at her own jokes in the mirror.

But a short while later, the Democrat returns, a thoughtful look replacing their earlier frustration. They approach the Baby Boomer and offer a small nod, "Mind if I join the conversation?" The Baby Boomer seems surprised but nods in agreement.

In an unexpected turn, the Democrat and the Baby Boomer engage in a measured dialogue. They share their differing perspectives and find common ground on a few issues. The rest of the bar watches as the conversation unfolds, intrigued by the newfound exchange. As the night winds down, they all realize they're on the same rollercoaster of life, just in different cars. They leave the bar, agreeing that if they can overcome their initial differences and listen to one another, they can help the world find balance.

And, no one even thought once of burning down the bar – they were too busy sharing laughs, engaging in meaningful conversations, busting out iconic dance moves, and celebrating the beauty of understanding across generations and viewpoints. As they walk away, the Baby Boomer turns to Gen Z and whispers, "You know, I've got this cassette of '60s protest songs somewhere... wanna grab a coffee and give it a listen?"


The Gen Z bartender grins, "Deal. But only if we ditch Marjorie Taylor Greene." 

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